MEMO
To: All H.E.R.N.E. Field agents
From: “M”
Re: Operation D.O.P.P.E.L.G.A.N.G.E.R.
Our agent is now in place. His first report indicates confusion among SROTN Chiefs of Ten as well as FNORD Knights.
“S” has been approached, but no firm deal as apparently he’s double-dealing. “J” is also inside and apparently has now advanced to a higher level within the confusing SROTN structure, and, as planned, has successfully distracted them by talking dirty. They are so predictable! Our brilliant plan of trading her with “S” for the Shamir may in fact be successful.
On a different note, our “Modified Rite of the Self-Devouring Snake” has been improved; note the illumination effects, using simple additives obtained at home. Our sacred drink revives the dead, and has an even more dramatic effect upon the living.
Our first trial run was effective; the fizzing liquid has been administered to our POMO associate “Leo”, who has been successfully revived.
Further tests are required to adapt the liquid into a useful weapon. If we can successfully work out a way to spray this upon them, it will reveal the presence of Invisible Knights of F.N.O.R.D.
Finally, we have been using the internet to confuse the remaining Knights with positive results; they think this is a rap group, hahahaha.
Once we have the Shamir, everything will be in place for our summoning. Kudos to the Sex Criminals for the new cloak design; much better than the silly robes. Maybe we will adopt them for our summoning ritual.
Keep up the good work!
“Pol. What do you read, my lord?
Ham. Words, words, words.”
Hamlet. ACT II Scene 2.
William Shakespeare
“Where’s the Beef?”
Wendy
Wendy, we’ll trade you “J” for the shiny Shamir and throw in 5 bouncing Heatherns. What say you?
It’s a quote, idiot! Wendy’s is a hamburger chain! “Where’s the Beef?” is a metaphor for “you ain’t offered anything YET for anything I’ve got.” Do I have the/your Shamir? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I have it and don’t want to give it to you. Maybe I have it and I don’t know I do! Heatherns have been bouncing all over the place. Here, there, in, out. How do I know that after you promise them to me they will really bounce my way? And what really is a “J”? It might just be a “Jerk Off”!
I’m bored . . . .
I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
SkekEkt (AKA EktUtt) (NOT Wendy!)
I tricked you guys. I was out of town on December 31st, 2009 so none of my loved ones died.